it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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