My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize