Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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