Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
