So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
