Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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