Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
