also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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