he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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