DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize