physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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