well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
