He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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