somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
