i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.