Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My hand turned me down
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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