so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
