i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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