Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
