Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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