We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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