That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
