FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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