If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
