I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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