just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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