I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
