Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
