Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
