Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
