I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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