wat bout pragnant strippers??
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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