So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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