Already got asked if we're dating
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
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I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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