you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
