my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize