took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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