even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
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Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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