I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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