That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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