I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Four minutes until I can fart!
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.