How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world