Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?