i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize