i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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