He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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