I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old