Umm I'm too high to move.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
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I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.