I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?