thanks...oh and i got my period
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
is that a dick in a sweater?