you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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