I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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