Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
