Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize