All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
